Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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