So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
