weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
