Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
