are you so shy because you have an std?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
