i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
