that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
