I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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