You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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