I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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