I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
