hotel room ftw
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
