Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
