Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
