Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
