it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize