She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
