Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
