Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
