things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
