I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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