Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
