If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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