please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
