Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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