Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
