More tranny stories later!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
