Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize