oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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