not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
