please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
