i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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