maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
