I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
