i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
