4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
