Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
