drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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