If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
