If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
