That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
