her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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