i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
