ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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