she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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