She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
