my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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