Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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