How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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