For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
