I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize