before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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