how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
