It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
