do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
