We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
