I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Banned from zoo.
Again?
what day is it and did you see me today?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
