you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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