matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
worst night to have a conscience
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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