what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When are your genitals available?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
