I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
