I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize