I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He better not be in your backpack
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
