M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize