Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
