i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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