OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He felt like a one man threesome
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
