no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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