I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
