you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
