Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Fuck appropriateness.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
