I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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