too bad you live with your parents still
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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