reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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