question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize