wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
