I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
