Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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