Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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