The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
